Ep 4: Scared and doing it anyway

All of us have a story to tell. Each one of us has a unique message to bring to the world, but so many of us get paralyzed by the fears and limiting beliefs that come up when we think about sharing our deepest inner truth.

In this short solo episode, I share my challenge of embracing visibility through the launch of this podcast and how I worked through the fears and stories that came up for me to create and launch this project.

(Scroll down to read the transcript)

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Transcript:

I felt compelled to create this episode to talk about the fear and doubt that kept creeping in as I got closer to launching my podcast. I want to share this story because if you’re listening, you’re probably not that different from me: You’re someone with a message to share and deep in your heart you know that message could bring good to the world. 

But when you think about sharing your message, fear and doubt inevitably come up. This fear may even stop you from sharing. This episode is about how I didn’t let my fear stop me and I hope it inspires you to keep going too. 

Just for context, I recorded this episode before the Soul Salon podcast was launched. So if you’re listening to this now, I’d like you to imagine me doing all the things required to birth a podcast into the world: recording episodes, inviting guests, getting guest information, working with a podcast producer… there’s a lot that goes into creating a podcast. And then, of course, there’s the part where you start telling people you have a podcast. The part where you ask them to listen and subscribe. 

So this is where I am as I record this episode. I’m on the verge of asking people to listen and subscribe. And for the last week or so, I’ve been waking up with this very old and familiar question in my head: “What did I do wrong?” The connection between this question and me asking people to listen to my podcast will make sense as you keep listening.

I used to unconsciously ask myself this question daily. It was how I learned to mitigate potential harm. The question was usually the loudest after talking to someone. It didn’t matter if it was a friend, a class full of students, a neighbour, or a presentation audience. No matter the scenario, I’d immediately start measuring what I said against all the possible interpretations.

If you experience this behavior too, you know it’s exhausting. If you’ve never gone through this thought process, you must have an incredibly peaceful mind. 

Thanks to the energy work and coaching I’ve received in the last few years though, I feel privileged to understand what it’s like to NOT wake up with this “what did I do wrong question”. I’ve had a glimpse into what it’s like to have a peaceful mind unburdened from the constant calculations of potentially harmful outcomes. 

But as I’m on the verge of sharing this podcast, which has the potential of being heard by an unlimited number of people, that old, familiar anxiety is creeping up again. And as it creeps up, so do the memories of all the times I did or said something that caused harm. No doubt I can thank my ego for dredging up these stories. It’s doing its best to keep me from getting in harm's way. 

But the truth is, what my ego could really end up doing is keeping me from sharing my truth. And when I hold back my truth I risk something even greater: I risk not connecting with you. What this means is that I risk not helping someone share their truth. And when I do that, I’m in complete misalignment with what my soul came to this lifetime to do. 

Because there’s nothing I’m more sure of: I’m here at this moment in time to do what’s in my power to help other visionaries, creatives, trailblazers, and lightworkers to show up in the world. 

I’m here to help you do the work you were meant to do and that work requires you to express your voice. There’s no way around it. You can’t do the important work you’re meant to do without talking about it. If you don’t write or talk about your work, you’re holding your important message back. You’re stuffing it down. And when you stuff it down, you’re backing up your energetic system. And when you back up your energetic system, you’re backing up the natural flow of life on earth. This is why each podcast episode explores the question “What does it take to live a soul-expressed life?”

You’re meant to shine. You’re meant to express the fullness of your soul. The only voice you should be listening to, and acting on, is the voice of your soul. Because when you act on behalf of this voice, you’re acting on behalf of the Universe (or God, the Divine, Source… whatever you want to call this all-encompassing energy). You are in flow. Just like flowers bloom, you’re meant to express. Just like the tides rise, you’re meant to create your unique creation. Just like the seasons come, you’re meant to stand up and share yourself. This is the natural order of life. 

But when a human feels like all eyes are on them, it can feel threatening. It’s this ancient reaction. You feel exposed and vulnerable. We naturally do what we can to feel safe and one of the strategies for staying safe is to be part of a group. 

So when I start asking myself this question” What did I do wrong?” what I’m really trying to do is to make sure that I don’t become isolated from my community; that I’m not shamed; that I’m not judged’... I’m trying to ensure that I’ll belong and that I won’t be thrown out of the club. 

But as my dear friend, Leilani Manulu (whom you’ve heard on this podcast before) so beautifully said to me as I was going through this thought process:

“You don’t get to hold the pressure of being responsible for any and all scenarios in relationships. You don’t get to be responsible for impact; You only get to be responsible for being your authentic self and for speaking your authentic truth. And the way it lands for others is not on you.” Thank you Leilani.

You see, I’ve judged myself harshly for not being caring or considerate enough and I’ve judged myself this way because I have a deep human fear of not belonging. This harsh self-judgment ensures that I belong. 

But it also ensures that I don’t expand into the truth of who I really am. 

And so, I’m moving forward. This episode is a testament to me expanding into my truth. It’s me saying thank you to my ego for trying to keep me safe, and also letting it know that I’ve got this. 

The possible scenarios that come from my podcast are as natural as the flower’s life cycle, the ebb and flow of the tides, and the cycle of the seasons. Just like the flower can’t remain a seed, the tides can’t always be ebbing, and it can’t always be winter; I can’t stay hidden. 

If you resonate with any part of what I shared here, and you’d like support in sharing your personal and powerful message, please consider joining Soul to Social.

Soul to Social is an 8-week face-to-face online group program designed to help women like you find the energy, courage, and confidence you need to share your soul work on social media and in the world at large. I run this program twice a year and would love to support you during the next round. You can learn more about this program and the strategies I teach on my website josetteleblanc.com or via the link in the show notes. 

Resources mentioned:

Soul to Social Program - Soul to Social is all about helping you let go of social media stress and overwhelm and supporting you to make your soul work shine.

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